How often in a week do you find yourself spiraling into an endless loop of overthinking, over analyzing or dwelling on something that happened hours or even days ago? When one of my core businesses began to slowly unalive itself back in late 2022, was when I became acutely aware of my feverish overthinking problem. 

What about you...maybe it was an awkward conversation, a mess up at work, or something someone said that left you feeling like weeks old trash. Before you know it, your brain is devilishly replaying the situation over and over, analyzing and agonizing over every single detail, sending you spiraling out of control. 

Overthinking is something a lot of us struggle with, and if you're ADHD(raises hand)...you got it crazy bad.  What if there was a simple way to wrangle this thinking and put it in its' place?  

Neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor discovered that emotions, when left unchecked, only last about 90 seconds. This means that if you’re feeling frustrated, anxious, or embarrassed, the initial physiological response in your body should naturally fade after just a minute and a half.

So why do we stay stuck in negative emotions for hours, days or weeks on end? The answer lies in what happens after those 90 seconds.

Our brains are wired for survival, and one of its primary functions is to detect and alert us of threats and problems. It’s why negative thoughts tend to linger and be remembered waaay longer than positive ones.

When something upsetting happens, your body releases a flood of chemicals, triggering an emotional response.

This could be a rush of adrenaline from an embarrassing moment, a spike of cortisol from stress, or a wave of anger when someone cuts you off in traffic. After about 90 seconds, those chemicals should start breaking down, allowing you to reset.

But here’s the catch:

Most of us unintentionally keep the emotional loop going by replaying the situation in their mind. You know exactly what we're talking about right? I know I dooo! I'm the Queen of ruminating about something for hours, days even weeks!

Every single time we reimagine what happened, try to unpack it, or tell ourself yet another story about it, our brain triggers the same emotional response every time...sending yet another wave of stress chemicals into our system. And THIS my friends is how overthinking traps us in a cycle of anger, anxiety, frustration, or regret.

The key to breaking this cycle is AWARENESS.

The next time you feel a strong emotional reaction coming on, remind yourself of the 90-second rule. Instead of resisting the feeling, simply acknowledge it. Allow yourself to experience it fully without judgment.

Name it—whether it’s frustration, embarrassment, disappointment, or anger. Tell yourself, “This is just a chemical response happening in my brain. It'll pass in 90 seconds.”

Then, instead of feeding the thought with criticism, analysis or narration, LET.IT.GO. I KNOW...THIS IS A BIG ASK...but it's using these little tools and mind shifts that will soon help us to shift our focus to something else— take in a deep cleansing inhale...exhale, try a quick moonwalk, spin or shoulder shimmy...silly YEP...Effective...Absolutely.

Another powerful way to stop overthinking is to interrupt the pattern with a disruptive action.

This could be standing up and stretching, splashing cold water on your face, or focusing your mind on something neutral like counting backwards from 100. The goal is to redirect your attention before your brain loops back into the negative cycle. Practicing mindfulness is another effective strategy.

When you feel overwhelmed by emotions, instead of trying to suppress them, become the observer and be aware of your thoughts. Picture them like clouds passing in the sky or waves crashing onto the shore. Remind yourself that emotions are temporary and that you have the ability to reset simply by choosing not to re-engage with the negative thought loop.

Easier said than done...I get that, but with intention and practice we can get better at it. It's a Choice. 

Journaling can also help break the overthinking cycle. The act of writing down what’s bothering you helps move the thought out of your mind and onto paper. It creates a sense of distance from the emotion and prevents it from spinning out of control. Try writing for just five minutes, dumping all of your thoughts onto the page without worrying about grammar or structure.

When you're done, close the notebook and leave the thoughts behind mentally and physically.

If you find yourself Still stuck on the same thoughts even after journaling, try this simple mental trick: imagine placing the thought into a balloon and watching it float away. This visualization technique helps reinforce the idea that we are not our thoughts—we are the observer of our thoughts, and we can choose which ones to engage with, and which to shut out.

Ultimately, overthinking is a habit that we've roped ourselves into Like  any habit, it CAN be changed. The more we practice recognizing when we are fueling unnecessary thoughts and redirecting our focus, the easier it becomes to break free from the cycle.

The next time you catch yourself stuck in an emotional spiral, pause and remind yourself of the 90-second rule.

Our brains are designed to reset IF we allow it to. The choice is always ours—continue replaying the same scenario, or step back and let it go.

Welp I hope that was eye opening enough to give it a shot....I know for me I have been pushing myself to become very aware and intentionally paying attention with what makes me feel strong emotions. And stopping right in the moment for a second and analyze what is really happening, and react accordingly.

Sometimes that means signing a song in my head, sometimes it's sniffing lavender, and other times it's understanding that I'm a work in progress, and it's ok to crash occasionally. But don't stay there. 

Let me know in the comments if you use any of these tools to help you stop overthinking...or what methods you use that work for you, I'd love to explore those too!

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